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Write All About It - Blog from Stace Campbell

When things get cluttered...

Sometimes when I write everything lives in cluttered piles around me: the dishes, the laundry, the papers upon papers on my desk/dining table--which have magical replicating powers allowing them to continuously overflow even when pushed into semi-organised piles. This chaos leads to stress, which leads to lack of writing, which leads to cleaning, which hopefully, will lead back to writing.

I need to remind myself to stop to breathe, because as writers we get consumed by the world we have created and the characters that give life to that world, and for the longest time I can't see the clutter growing, and when I stop for a second and notice the mounds, it can weigh me down.  And as much as I want to continue to write and ignore the growing piles, I know that this is real life interjecting to let me know that I need to function in both spaces, the writing world and the real world, and in order to do that the things in the real world need to get sorted before the muse in the writing world will listen to my ramblings, and will organise said ramblings into a string of literary genius (or at least words that make sense).

So muse, I'll be back, but right now I have some cleaning to do. Need to unclutter so that the writing can come freely and totally unobstructed.

Filtering: great for your coffee, bad for your manuscript.

Filter words are those pesky things that can drive a wedge between the reader and the POV character, creating distance and lessening the impact of the scene. If you've been following my blog, you will know I hit a wall half way through my WIP where I felt as though I "lost" my main characters unique voice.

I've put it down to a couple of things, one: hitting writers block and taking a week off from writing, when I came back I felt as though I'd lost that connection with how my MC would naturally act and talk (to a degree). Two: wondering whether I should have written the whole novel in first person instead of third person, which leads me to Three: in third person I felt like I was struggling with the distance. I asked myself why, and one of the reasons I gleaned was that I was creating too much distance for the reader, and as a result it felt as though I was reporting my main characters actions, and noting her feelings instead of allowing myself and the reader to experience those things alongside Grey (my MC).

So what on earth are filter words? They are words that report what the character does and note what the character feels, and are typically the following: saw, watched, heard, felt, noticed, realized, thought, wondered, looked, decided. Even touched, tasted and smelt can distance the reader.

When you are writing in third person deep, like first person POV, you do not need to distance the reader; you are always in the main characters head for that particular scene or chapter. So, for example, when you are writing internalization, you don't need to say "she thought" at the end of the sentence, because the thought can not belong to any other character. Filter words are not only unnecessary (in most cases), but they also dull the impact of the scene by putting more distance between the reader and what that character is doing and feeling.

Lets look at a couple of examples of sentences with filter words, and then compare it to sentences where the filter's have been taken out:

"Keta flipped the page of her book. Yet another late night, she thought, cringing at how dark the bags under her eyes would be in the morning. Just one last chapter. She heard a creak break through the silence; she felt every muscle freeze as she heard the windowpane shake and groan at the effort of being pulled open after so many years. He had come back she thought."

Without the filters:

"Keta flipped the page of her book. Yet another late night, she cringed at the thought of how dark the bags under her eyes would be come morning. Just one last chapter. A creak broke through the silence; every muscle froze as the windowpane shook and groaned at the effort of being pulled open after so many years. He had come back."

Filter words can make a sentence clunky, it reminds the reader - hey, you there, yes you with the book in your hand, you are reading this! Instead of allowing them to actually experience the events alongside the MC, or allowing them to glean from their reactions how the character feels instead of being told she felt something.

That's not to say that you should necessarily go through your manuscript and cut them all out entirely, there may be some circumstances where you're actually trying to create distance or where you do need to emphasize something by reminding the reader that the MC saw something, heard something, or felt something. But if you are doing it with every single sentence as in the first example above, it can get annoying for the reader, and make them not care about your characters because of the distance created. Which you definitely do NOT want. In my first draft I let them sneak in, but cut those pesky filters out during editing.

How I LOST my writing mojo... and what it felt like when it came back

A few posts back I talked about being in a bit of a writing slump, triggered around the middle of my novel, well, thank god, after some awesome advice from my writing bud Rosanna Silverlight who reminded me the importance of carving out time from trying to write, and with the daily inspiration of CampNaNoWriMo, I am well on my way to finishing my novel (at 72,500 words yay, first draft almost complete!).

A couple of things I have learnt about writers block:

• It sucks the life out of you (a given)
• You sit down to write every day, like usual, but every single word you type is like trying to scale Mount Everest with a freight train strapped to your back, and it all looks and feels like utter SHIRT (without the R).
• It is often your novel trying to tell you something, and if you scratch beneath the surface you can learn a few things: maybe its your novel telling you it wants to go in a different direction, or in my case, that my ending needed to change to fit with who my main character had developed in to.
• If you sit down with a pencil and paper (which I LOVE to do, that scratchy sound is like cuddling into a warm blanket on a rainy day with the fire blasting, it is so comforting) and not plan a thing to write, and just let yourself go crazy, writing whatever comes to the top of your head: you'll find some nuggets of pure gold. For me, writing in pencil takes the pressure off, I can scrub it out with an eraser and poof terrible sentence is gone; it is liberating and allows me to write with reckless abandon.
• Coming out the other side of writers block, is like finally seeing the light after being buried six feet deep in life-sucking flimsy story-lines that make even you, the author, recoil at having to read it. But once that light shines down, and you grab a hold of that fresh idea, or sentence that made you remember why the hell you were writing your story in the first place, it breathes life into your story, and gives you the second chance to write, write, write until the story comes in a fitful of words that fly from the tips of your fingertips. And you can finally sigh a "thank god" as you realize, hell yes, it's all coming together now. 

Susan Dennard has done a fabulous series on writers block that I would recommend to all, I think the best nugget of information comes in lesson 3, where Sooz talks about the Science of Fear from the book Maximize Your Potential, which states "When we think about risks, we think about failure. When we think about failure, we start to get scared. When we start to get scare, our brains send signals to get the hell out of there."  You may think, well yeah, that's only relevant to being attacked by a lion back in the day, but no, our brain processes fear the same way for non-physical threats as it does for the physical ones! Head over to Sooz's blog to learn about recognising your fears and what you can to do about it. It will be worth your time!

SIX Tips for Writing Dialogue

When dialogue is done well:

(1) You don’t need creative dialogue tags of the adjective variety i.e. “she said, surprised” or “he said, angrily”.  

The reader should not be told that a character is shocked or angry. The reader should be shown this: from the dialogue itself, or from action beats placed around dialogue or, where appropriate, from internalization.

What reads better?

“It’s over,” Sarah said, angrily.

OR

“It’s over.” Sarah threw the coffee cup she’d been clasping. The fine china disintegrated against the cold kitchen tiles.

In the first example we are told she is angry. In the second example we are shown that she is angry, by Sarah smashing a cup.  The dialogue tag is unnecessary because the action beat frames the dialogue.

(2) The dialogue doesn't state something for the readers benefit only. 

If both characters in the scene already know what is being stated then there is normally no point in saying it. The writer may be trying to ‘dump’ the information into dialogue for the readers benefit, so that the reader can glean something that both the characters already know.

• Often dialogue that has “As you know” or “Remember when” in it is often for the readers benefit.
• A “catch up” between two characters that just repeats what happened to one character to another character is often an information dump. It is telling the reader, you may as well write the scene where the events happen to that one character instead of regurgitating it from the horse’s mouth. If you need the other character to know, don’t retell the scene.
• Anything that seems unnatural or forced, or something that the character would not usually say, is often just an information dump for the readers benefit. Be true to your characters and don’t force words out of their mouths.

(3) The dialogue doesn't repeat an action beat. 

Dialogue should not be made redundant, if it is, it does not need to be said.

Examples

• She nodded her head in agreement, “Yes.” 
• The “yes” is unnecessary, you should have either the action or the dialogue. You don’t need both, unless you are trying to emphasize this for some reason.

• Jim glanced up at the clock: 8:55. They were late already, and the kids were still in their pajamas; stuffing their little mouths with pancakes. “Come on, come on. Let’s get a move on. We’re going to be late, it’s almost nine.”
• It feels clunky when its repetitive and does not flow well. You can rearrange as such: “Jim glanced up at the clock: 8:55. The kids were still in their pajamas, stuffing their little mouths with pancakes. “Come on, come on. Let’s get a move on. We’re going to be late.”

(4) The reader isn't confused by who is speaking at any given time. 

Appropriate dialogue tags, action beats or internalization are used when it is not clear who to attribute the dialogue too.  Without a tag/beat/internalization, and where the dialogue isn't distinct to a particular character, the reader may get confused.

Example:

“But dad, I’m still hungry.” Greta groaned, with icing-sugar powdered lips.

Synchronized moans rang out across the table.

“We’ll be late to church.”

“But, I hate going.”

“Hey,” she narrowed her eyes at Benny, “we don’t hate church.”

We don’t know who said lines three or four. We don’t know who the “she” is referring to in line five. We may assume that Benny said, “I hate church,” but we don’t get this information until we get to line five. All in all, it’s confusing to the reader and may cause them to lose interest or get irritated.

(5) A balance of dialogue tags (John said, she said), action beats, and internalization is used to frame who is speaking. 

Repeating one again and again can be jarring and unpleasant. Where possible mix it up for variety, and where you are able to—without confusing the reader—leave off the tag, the beat or internalization. Also vary where you place dialogue tags, beats and internalization so that they aren’t always at the end of the sentence (though that is preferable for shorter sentences).  Place them at the beginning, middle and end for different effects.

Jarring example:

“But dad, I’m still hungry,” Greta said.

"We’ll be late to church,” Jim said.

“But, I hate going,” Benny said.

“Hey,” Molly said, “we don’t hate church.”

Better example:

“But dad, I’m still hungry.” Greta groaned, with icing-sugar powdered lips.

Synchronized moans rang out across the table.

Jim started clearing plates. “We’ll be late to church.”

“But, I hate going.” Benny’s face scrunched together as his pudgy fingers stabbed holes in his pancake.

“Hey.” Molly narrowed her eyes at him, “We don’t hate church.”        

(6) You don’t need dialogue tags because you know which character has spoken by the way that they speak: by the words they choose to say. 

What else do you think makes up good dialogue?

Don't splice and dice--your commas that is!

What on earth do you mean? I'm talking about the comma splice.

What is it?

This is when a comma is used to splice two independent clauses like so:

"Jane sprinted as fast as her legs would take her, the sound of zombie feet pounded in ears."

Or try this one:

Jane enjoyed cookie-crumble ice cream, she had a weakness for anything with cookies.


What's so wrong with this: it is not the job of the comma to join two main clauses. The correct grammar usage would be to use one of the following:

(1) You could use a period to separate the two complete sentences:

Jane sprinted as fast as her legs would take her. The sound of zombie feet pounded in her ears.

Jane enjoyed cookie-crumble ice cream. She had a weakness for anything with cookies.

It is the periods role to separate two complete sentences.

(2) Or, if the sentences are closely related, you can use a semicolon to connect them:

Jane sprinted as fast as her legs would take her; the sound of zombie feet pounded in her ears.

Jane enjoyed cookie-crumble ice cream; she had a weakness for anything with cookies.

(3) Or, in some circumstances, you can use a coordinating conjunction to fix the comma splice:

A comma and a coordinating conjunction can join two independent clauses. The following words are coordinating conjucntions: and, but, or, yet, not, so, for

I had to slightly tweak the first sentence to make it work, so you would get the idea:

Jane sprinted as fast as her legs would take her, but the sound of zombie feet still pounded in her ears.


I know comma splices sneak into my writing all the time, and are something I keep an eye out for during editing. How about you? Do you suffer from comma splice syndrome?

The Em Dash and all of it's glorious uses

The basics, what on earth is an Em Dash?

It is a dash the size of the letter M (would you believe that's how it got its name?). Microsoft word will create an em dash for you when you put two dashes together as such --. Do not put in a space before or after the em dash.

I will look at a FEW common uses here (there are a couple more):

The em dash can be used to signal a break in thought or tone:

Take a look at how F. Scott Fitzgerald used it in The Great Gatsby: "I lived at West Egg, the--well, the less fashionable of the two, though this is a most superficial tag to express the bizarre and not a little sinister contrast between them." On that note, and completely unrelated to this post, check out Hemingway's criticism of F. Scott Fitzgerald's Tender is the Night--it will make you feel better about your critique partners feedback.

Okay lets get back to it, here is another example of the em dash used where there is a break in thought: The trees stretched high into the sky--Jane wondered if she'd ever seen trees so tall.

If the quote itself is interrupted the em dash will go inside the quote:

"Jane run, before they--" a shrill scream shattered the otherwise silent night. It was too late.

It can be used to break the quote with narrative as such:

"Jane run"--he pointed behind her--"they're almost over the wall."

It can be used where you have an abrupt, startling appositive or where you want to emphasize the appositive:

First lets look at an appositive without the em dash, rather it is is punctuated with commas:
Jane, a skittish teen who faints at the sight of blood, stood on wobbly legs as the red liquid pooled around her.
Now with em dash emphasis:
Jane--a skittish teen who faints at the sight of blood--stood on wobbly legs as the red liquid pooled around her.

To set off parenthetical fragments (or sentences) especially where it relates to the main thought:

Jane ran--desperate legs sprinting as fast as they could, her arms swinging for momentum--targeting the back-seat of the waiting truck.

To summarise the previous series:

Guns, explosives, knives--those were Jane's favourite weapons.

Use of the em dash:

So how often should the Em dash be used? This is probably personal preference, however, I think because the em dash can be a powerful tool of emphasis you don't want to be using it all the time--especially because it can be quite jarring to read when used too frequently.

How about you, how often do you like to use the em dash?